I read a few of my older blogs today, i can't believe that almost a year has passed since i set up this page... granted i spent half that time completely neglecting it, but you get the point. I really think i should start writing things of substance again...
Well, had a pretty good day at uni, i was in a good mood and lectures were ok. Had a rather bad existential crisis (as chris calls it) yesterday. During one of my lectures i was seriously comtemplating dropping out of medicine and doing graphic art instead. It really unnerved me, i came to think that maybe i'm staying in this course cause it's secure, kind of now once i'm in it, it's easy to just follow it through. Thing is i don't really know why or if i want to become a doctor. It's not something i've always wanted and my major reasons for going in for it were that i was good at my subjects and i wanted to help people. Thing is this job is a vocation, which means long hours and a lot of sacrifice, and if you don't like what you're doing then you definately wont last long. Yes there is the money, but that only comes in at a much later date if you manage to get a good speciality, and being able to, say, spend more time with my family (God willing) or advancing in music/worship is more important to me than loads of dough.
Art is something i've always loved. When i was young i was a good artist (for a 4 year old at least) and i loved stories. I'd spend ages watching and re-watching my collection of classic disney stories and things. I dunno, i identify with the arts, so a career in something art-related and self expressive sounds ideal. In any case, i mentioned what was going through my mind to Dan and he and Colin took me to the canteen to have a chat about careers and stuff. I really want to thank you guys, though i know you probably don't read this, but anyway. In any case i've kind of settled for now, i dont want to make any rash decisions, plus what i'm studying now does not in any way reflect the medical profession, this is just the compulsory rubbish. I'll wait at least until next year when i get some clinical experience to take my decision further. In the meantime i'm considering doing art A level next year, even if i don't go into graphics, having a qualification in something i love would be nice, and it might come in handy later on.
Wow, this is longer than i expected hehe. I'm procrastinating on studying if you haven't noticed, man i find head and neck complicated....
Got some other stuff on my mind, but i'll talk about that later on in the week *air of mystery*.
Damn i want a ps3....
Out.
[Download *HD*] The Intervention HD quality
6 years ago
6 comments:
I don't think there's anything in life which won't give you an existential crisis once you devote yourself to it and realise you're commiting yourself to doing it for the rest of your life. There's always a "what if" factor.
It's always good to keep your options open, and remember you're still very young and have plenty of time to change your mind if you feel doctoring is not right for you.
Personally if I were you what I'd try to do is find something which joins all my talents together so that they nourish and enhance each other. Ok this is just a silly example, but imagine working in pediatrics where your cartoon-style drawings make it easier to connect with the children... Or something.
PS3s are Lm200 each now btw. Man I wish they were smartcard refundable.
Take care dude :)
Matthew, all my life I've lived to become a doctor. It might sound very nerdish, but being a good doctor was something that I ALWAYS wanted to become since I was VERY young. Some motives changed, others stood the test of time, but the desire remained (if not grew). And YET, even with such a strong sense of direction, I DID HAVE my second doubts as to whether I should continue studying medicine (even after I finished my second year). In short: Give things time!
Also, please realise that you're going through one of the toughest years of your undergraduate course and it might not be the right time to make desicions. This could be a moment were your desires are being "tested under the fire", so it's bound to be hard. Having said that, spending some time alone/with a friend you trust to get to know yourself a bit better is not a bad idea. One of my friends actually dropped out last year when he realised that medicine wasn't really what he wanted. But whatever you do, give yourself TIME. :) Maybe chosing graphics could end up being very disappointing. I hope I managed to make sense.
Well I'm not going to give you an opinion, as it's obviously going to be buyist.
But I'm praying for you, so oyu realise what the best path would be.
GBU dudu
Hey Matt:)!
Join the club my friend hehe:)! During exam period last year I seriously considered dropping out of the medicine for relatively the same reasons as you with a bit of a difference is that the other option was architecture or something on the lines where I can use photoshop and take photos everyday, which sounds exciting to me.So thank God that this has happened to you now rather in exam period where you need to study lol:P In addition to this I could say that my choice to choose medicine was rather like you as in taking the best option available and a "comfortable choice" after all.
But in the end of it all I have nothing to advise but to say that I think that you have just made the right choice, we're in a period where we fed alot of crap which will be totally useless for our clinical year but nonetheless important to understand certain concepts and petty stuff.So the clinical trial I believe is an experience that shouldn't be missed and what about involving yourself more in SCOPH matt, I mean there are some practical clinical stuff which might help out:)
So if you think you're alone, fear not! There are other colleagues in your class who haven't always wanted to become medics:P!
Thanks
stef
P.S: You're still 19
HAAA finally a subject i can talk about with a certain confidence...for those of you who dont know im the guy who stopped going attending his law lectures in january got a bio intermediate so as to be able to enter psychology, then went to do the law exams so as not to pay back the stipend, decided to stay in law whilst the results were coming out, found out he failed and is repeating law. Damn everytime i say that story the word stupid screams in my mind.
No advice here matt just a bit of experience, i agree with chris the idea of closing all doors to enter a particular one is a scary one, especially if you feel you have talents you are leaving unnurturtured. Youre always gonna ask what if, especialy if thsi requires commitment and hard work.
Whilst i do not regret taking the path ive taken as for once in my life im sure of what i want to be even if i lost a years stipend to realise this, i ask you be wary. Entertain thoughts as much as you like but dont take rash decisions such as i did, the price you pay is by no means little.
Any course youll take yo can find a reason why you should leave and quit. My small suggestion is this know yourself...friends help but i suggest you take a journey into yourself, youll fins some interesting things ill tell you that. Once you have a better idea of who you are and what you like go talk to God...i dont need to tell you how He knows ourself better than we do and He will undoubtedly help you know the truth of where your path lies
insomma said too much
Gb drew
When you're getting these thoughts, it's important to talk them out to ppl in the same course and also ur parents, cos thats wat I did and it helped alot. We all have our little defects....I worry too much about certain things of my life, and u worry about this. We all have gotten these thoughts and get them, but at the end of the day ur gonna have to overcome them and realise ur in control of ur life. U cud have easily gone into graphical design wen u first didnt get ur grades.......y didnt u? dont try to find an excuse that u didnt tink about it or because u didnt have Art A level...wen it came to deciding wat u wanted to do, u were willing to give up a year to repeat ur A levels just to get into medicine. Remind urself these things and sometimes, wen the thoughts seem too overwhelming, just agree with them and ridicule them. YES ILL DROP OUT, ILL GO DO IT NOW...and trust me, theyll start decreasing bit by bit. TC dude GB :)
M
PS: We all know second year is the worst, just hang in there. I think ur gonna love 3rd year :)
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