I'm taking a short break in between studies and I've got nothing to do so here's a couple of randomers:
1. It's a fantastic day outside! The weather was gnarly yesterday but the sun's out and it's all quiet... funnily enough I don't have the urge to be outside, content to sit in my reading chair and study (mostly cause everyone's hermitising now).
2. I have a reading chair now. And a lamp. XD 3. I need to organise my books. When I say I need to, I don't really but I want to. They're situated all over the house and I want to gather them in one central bookshelf in my room... though I'm lacking a bookshelf and place to put one...
4. Yesterday I got fed up of studying and went into another "I-don't-want-to-do-this-buttkiss-anymore"... also I was very worried that I am in no way going to be able to pass my exams. Today I'm peachy though XD
5. I did really badly in my mock clinical exam last saturday. Really badly. You know those times in life where you feel like a complete and utter brainless twat? One of those.
6. I have developed an addiction to watching John Green vlog. Originally I mocked ache for being a nerdfighter. Now I find I think I'm one myself. Awesome.
7. I refuse to join twitter. Just because.
8. Firefox has this new skins thing (I've already forgotten what it's actually called) that I find very amusing. My browser menu now has 4 random animals (including a unicorn) playing an arcade game in the background.
9. I think I've successfully uploaded all the music I have that I will ever conceivably listen to onto my ipod... it's about 2G worth... out of 120G... Also I've developed the sickest addiction to podcasts. Ever.
10. Lookie at this pretty picture I drew for Claire It's for the cover of this year's edition of Murmur (annual medical student magazine). I admit it's a little half-arsed, which is something I never like doing, but I'd end up spending all day on photoshop to get something I'm happy with. Still, there it be.
First off, glad to see how much attention the vlog (i'll concede that yes it is technically a vlog) has generated... most of the comments confirming my suspicions that we're still the same 17-year-old geeky little idiots on the inside... XD
So yesterday my parents got back from Israel, the ten days of me and sim being scarily similar to a married couple are over, and life goes back to normal. Me moms got me an ipod as an early birthday present. 120G classic, it's epicly vast, and i agree with mike who thinks i'll never actually fill it, which is basically why i wanted a big one.
This weekend we've got the FBGMFI (actually learnt what it is!!) conference weekend at the Topaz in Bugibba. I'm only going up tonight and tomorrow for the worship sessions though cause i really need to try and study. I really, really do. I've promised myself I won't rant on about my studies like I used to in older blogs, so I'll keep it to a minimum... I've just lost the ability to study, it feels like my brain's stuck in second gear trying to sludge through toffee-r-us. I study for half an hour (staring for 10 min of that) then have to take a half hour break cause i'm already tiring... and after i'm done i can't actually pin-point anything i've learned... meh...
Mock clinical exam tomorrow... hurrrrrr... Though I've learned not to get caught up in all the tension, the sun will still rise, friends will still be there, God is still God and life will go on no matter what happens. I'm not the books I don't study. I'm not the exams I fail. I'm not the time wasted on facebook XD
Was going through my files and stumbled upon this:
That was June 2005, almost four years ago. I find it scary how nerdy we both looked and sound. Just give to an idea of how things change, we thought we'd give an update:
April 2009, things have changed. Well, we hope so.
I woke up this morning, not knowing why, or when, or how. I opened my eyes and I felt and I knew. The world is quiet. Quiet and still. Dim shades of light and shadows of all the hues of grey made up my world. This is the world I see everyday. Intricate patterns and shapes on the ceiling, the picture of a beach at twilight on the wall. I've looked at them again and again, they're always the same, but the answers I try to find in them seem to change. I seem to change. Days, months, years, they were all so well defined once, so limitless. Now as they merge themselves in memory the past seems to leak into the present and I can't tell one from the other even as I live it. And yet now none of them exist. Now is all there is. I should wake, I should get up and walk into the world, into routines and times and things to do and places to be. I should get up. But I don't. I lay here, in this dim glow, entertained by my thoughts of what is and what could be. I'm only humouring myself I know, I can't predict what will happen, why what has happened did, what you or I thought or felt. Only a memory and a perception. Or rather the memory of a perception. How incredibly far from the truth that can be. Still it's nice to wonder. To dream. To hope. I close my eyes.
The energy and expectation of what God is doing, the hope and the love. This is what I'm seeing. This is what I'm working for.
Last night. I want to thank everyone who was involved in setting up, everyone involved in the filming, everyone who came and gave their all, and God, the glory is Yours alone. It was so, so hectic. Since they were filming we needed to go on and on at the end, just when I think we should stop Pauline tells me to play another song. It was so tiring. Half way through things like tempo, keys, chords and lyrics ceased to exist. All there was was a semi-distorted sound blasting out of my monitor into my brain and if it sounded like it was together, then it was ok. I felt all over the place. Half the time I felt like I was probably singing off key. The rest of the time I couldn't hear my guitar. Most of the time I wasn't really conscious of what the other people where playing. It was chaos, but a beautiful kind of chaos. In that chaos I gave my all out to God. It probably wasn't the best anyone has seen or heard, I'm pretty sure it wasn't, but it was all we had, all I had, and I gave it all. And in that moment I knew that God was there.
Now I wait for the next moment, I live in love, in expectation, of what God is doing, of what work of His I can bless, of the next moment I can again give my all.
